


burn it

by falloutmars



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Did I Mention Fluff, F/M, Fluff, contrary to the title there is no fire, could easily be canon, funny?, if you cant beat 'em join 'em, jughead being an overdramatic idiot and betty enabling him, just a bit of messing around for these trying times, not sure what this is, poor jugheads beanie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29135406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falloutmars/pseuds/falloutmars
Summary: “We have to burn it.”Betty looks over the top of her laptop to see Jughead standing in her bedroom doorway, dripping wet and beanie in hand. When she can’t see any blood dripping from his head, she frowns at him, confused, and lets her eyes fall back to her Word document.“We have to burn it,” he repeats, slower this time, voice more breathy.—or, Jughead's beanie is subjected to some unfortunate business
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	burn it

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what this is
> 
> regardless, enjoy :D

“We have to burn it.”

Betty looks over the top of her laptop to see Jughead standing in her bedroom doorway, dripping wet and beanie in hand. When she can’t see any blood dripping from his head, she frowns at him, confused, and lets her eyes fall back to her Word document. 

“We have to burn it,” he repeats, slower this time, voice more breathy.

With a sigh, she shuts the lid of her laptop. Doesn’t look like this essay is getting finished any time soon. “Burn what?” she asks, folding her arms against her chest. “And why are you soaked? I thought you were only at Archie’s.”

He pads over towards her, dropping the beanie onto the nightstand. He doesn’t sit down, probably because of his current _dripping_ state, but he looks weighed down by the weight of the water seeping into his clothes. “I was.”

She wants to smile, but it feels inappropriate, so she stands up into his space. She fiddles with the lapels of his jacket before helping him tug it off. “What happened?”

“Archie and Veronica happened,” he replies as they throw his jacket into the laundry bin. Then, he discards his t-shirt and jeans, leaving him in just his boxers, which are somehow also soaked through.

Betty quickly grabs a blanket from the drawer, wrapping it around him in lieu of a towel. She slides back onto the bed and pats the space beside her. “Sit. Tell me what happened.” 

There’s concern in her voice because his vagueness usually means something bad has happened. She just hopes he hasn’t had another argument with Veronica and that Veronica made him stand outside to think about his actions. In his defense, that’s only happened once before, but then again, that’s not to say it wouldn’t happen again. 

He throws himself on the bed, bouncing slightly from the impact, and crawls over to her side. He leans his head, hair wet and all, on her shoulder and clutches onto her arm. With a sigh, he presses kisses onto whatever part of her skin he can. “I love you,” he mutters.

This time, she doesn’t bother hiding her smile. “I love you too,” she replies, giggling. “But are you about to use sex as a way to get out of telling me something?”

Head buried in the crook of her shoulder, he mumbles something along the lines of, “I’m traumatized, Betty.”

She giggles again and threads her fingers through his hair, tugging slightly so she can actually see him. She sends him a serious glare. “Did you hurt someone?”

He sits up quickly, mouth agape in shock, one hand pressed to his chest. “I would _never_ hurt anyone, Betts. Never ever.” 

It’s barely convincing with the way he can’t keep a smirk off of his face, but nevertheless, he tried.

She grins. “Of course not. So what really happened?”

Dropping his elbow, he falls back to her side, hand finding hers. “No one should see Veronica and Archie in such a position.”

She has to stifle a giggle again. Their best friends are known to be, well, _on the go_ constantly, especially lately, but Betty thought Jughead and Archie had a video game evening planned whilst Fred was… _oh_. Jughead had gone over there in the pouring rain, probably only to… _oh god_.

“You’re imagining it, aren’t you?”

Biting her lip, she nods. He’s definitely not alone in walking in on such things. 

“Do you want the full story?”

She giggles at the seriousness of his voice. “Definitely not,” she says, though she knows she’s getting it regardless.

“Brilliant.” He shuffles around until his head is on her pillow, and he’s facing her. “So it all started…”

_._

_._

_._

_Jughead was bored. Betty was working on an essay like the model student she was, and his dad and JB were out for the evening, so all it took was a single message to Archie for an invitation to his for games night. He knew Fred was away for the week, so it’d just be the two of them if they wanted a beer or two._

_With a spring in his step, he bid goodbye to his girlfriend, leaving her with a lingering kiss and a promise he wouldn’t be back too late, and headed next door._

_He and Archie occupied the living room for use of the biggest TV in the house. They played Call Of Duty, yelling obscenities at the screen. It was a great distraction. He didn’t have to do school work, and he wasn’t wandering around thinking about his girlfriend._

_Within ten minutes playing, he’d stress-abandoned his beanie, throwing it on the couch beside him, and made his way through a whole bowl of chips purely down to the adrenaline running through his veins. He’d almost died many a time already, his fingers bashing the buttons on the controller with such force he was distantly worried he’d break it._

_Then there was a knock at the door interrupting them. He’d half expected it to be Betty, honestly, saying she’d finished her essay and wanted to join them, but when Archie opened the door, Veronica Lodge walked in, all heels and pearls._

_“Sorry to interrupt you, boys,” she said. “Just here to see my Archiekins.” She wrapped her arm around the waist of her boyfriend, the other hand trailing up and down the front of his t-shirt, and quite frankly, it wasn’t something Jughead needed to see._

_He shoots up, throwing his controller aside. He wasn’t about to leave completely, but he picked up the empty bowl and said, “I’m getting more chips,” figuring giving them a moment alone would be rather considerate of him._

_In the kitchen, he took his time. He refilled the bowl, but not before eating half the bag, grabbed himself a soda from the refrigerator, and just… waited. Not for too long, but he was sure his friends would be eating each other’s faces right now, so he wanted to give them the opportunity to_ stop _._

_After five tedious minutes, ones he spent staring at the clock, he wandered back into the living area. And, well, apparently five minutes is both not long enough and far too long._

_In other words, Veronica was straddling Archie on the couch, both their tops off and her hand shoved down his pants._

_It’s not that Jughead could necessarily_ see _anything, but it’s not that he_ couldn’t _see anything either. Regardless, he saw too fucking much._

_But that wasn’t even the worst of it because peeking out from under Archie’s ass was… his beanie._

_He stood for a moment like a deer in the headlights without knowing what to do. But when Archie started to extrude some ...questionable noises, Jughead very loudly cleared his throat._

_Both Veronica and Archie jumped, with Veronica practically leaping off of him as she scrambled for her top, covering what was left of her modesty. Jughead averted his eyes as he mumbled, “I should go,” with a hand flying up to fiddle with… oh yeah. His beanie._

_“Wait, Jug–”_

_He spun around to see Archie shrugging his t-shirt over his head. “It’s okay, man,” he said, though he didn’t entirely mean it. “We’ll do this another night.”_

_Archie threw his beanie at him, which he caught without any problem. He didn’t pull it over his head though because the image of it under Archie’s– nope. He’ll have to burn it. And without another word, he started to walk out of the room._

_He’d gotten outside into the pouring rain, ready to just hop across back to his girlfriend when Archie called for him. Reluctantly, he turned around, folding his arms across his chest and raising an eyebrow in question._

_“I’m so sorry, Jug,” Archie said, though his voice was less sincere than his words. He stood on the porch, not making any effort to join Jughead in the rain. That was how he knew he didn’t really mean it._

_“Girlfriend over brother, it’s all right, I get it.” He sounded harsher than he probably should, but really, he just wanted to get it over and done with so he could get out of this goddamn rain._

_Archie seemingly had other ideas. “Please, man, let me make it up to you.”_

_He looked down at the beanie he was clutching in his left hand, now soaked through just like the rest of him, then back up at his friend. He shook his head, remnants of a smile flickered across his face. “I got a beanie to burn.”_

_“I could wash it for–”_

_“No,” he interrupted. “Betty and I are good at sorting things like this.” He hadn’t realized how that sounded until he said it, until Archie’s eyes widened._

_“Girlfriend over brother, eh?” he said, smiling._

_Jughead waved him off. “Touche, my friend.”_

.

.

.

Betty’s face is screwed up when he finishes the story, but there’s a slight smile hidden away underneath the faux disgust. 

“See, Betts?” Jughead says almost proudly. “I’m _traumatized._ ”

Nodding, she reaches over him to grab the beanie. It’s still wet, less dripping-soaked than it was earlier. She holds it in her hands, angling it towards him. “You know, I’m pretty good at burning things.”

He bites his lip to stop a huge grin from spreading across his face, eyeing his girlfriend knowingly. “You are, aren’t you?”

She nods. “But I’ve got a better idea.”

Shifting around, he sits up, back leaning against the headboard. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she says, breathy, before she throws the beanie on the floor. Her cold hand comes up to fiddle with the collar of his shirt, and she brings it down as she starts undoing the buttons. Once she’s undone them all, she pulls it over his shoulders and throws it in the general direction of the beanie. “There.”

He smirks at her before closing the gap between them.

_If you can’t beat them,_ he thinks, _join them_. 

**Author's Note:**

> okay, did anyone work out *what* this is? even if you didn't, i hope you liked it! comments and kudos are, as always, greatly appreciated. thank you all!! <3


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